two. if you count all the ones i’ve started and deleted, five. i have a habit of making, posting my thoughts, and then deleting. i usually delete after a few months, or if my thoughts/feelings don’t fit what i post there anymore. it helps. the other one i have has only been alive for a few weeks. why? :))

why are you anonymous, btw

ETA: i just realised that you must’ve been on my page for you to know that i have more than one tumblr. who are you and why are you anoooon :)) i’m really curious now because you checked my page

belated hugs are still welcome, you know. in person, i mean. i don’t even know if you’re offering that virtual hug. and if you saw me that time, then that must mean we bump into each other often. hug me next time you see me! :)) ‘tis a demand.

- but why are you a “we” - 

and i know that people do care and i really am grateful for you, whoever you are. but i really just hated that that had to happen under circumstances not under my control. i do not and will never appreciate that in itself. when you’ve been trying to control something for so long, to the point that some of your best friends don’t even know, and then forced to let it all out without getting to choose who knows, it feels like shit. truly fucking shit. i really do appreciate that you guys care, but i’m bitter that you know through that.

it would really make me feel better if you come off anon and we can talk - not about this, really. just anything. you talk.

hi? i go…everyday? yeah. at least once a day. i go because i have nowhere else to bum. it’s a nice place to look at stuff and to microblog - i have another tumblr for that though :))

why is it a form of escapism and who are you and why are you anon

Lust: Something that I find attractive.

• I actually find a lot of things attractive and a lot of things unattractive. It just depends on the person that “wears them” - kinda like a case-to-case thing. There are a few things that I generally do find attractive though. One of them is bowlegged-ness, like I don’t know. I actually just find that natural gap between legs (and not because of lack of fat and/or muscle because I’m sorry but I don’t really like skinny guys - hugging them feels so strange to me) so appealing. I like hands too, those with visible knuckles and slender (but not like bone-thin) fingers. Hmmm. I like long hair, mostly. Not like Jesus long, but depends on the person. Okaaay. I’ve totally lost my train of thought.

Pride: Something that I like about myself.

• I’m sorta…like a “jack of all trades” kind of person? I don’t really know how else to describe it. I’ve rarely ever been totally horrendous at something. I’ve been pretty capable whenever I try something new. I always say that the things I suck at are volleyball and writing but I don’t really think I’m completely incapable of doing a good job. I played volleyball well enough to get extremely good grades in PE and I’ve gotten high marks for technical writing, so I don’t think I’m really like completely fail at anything. I’ve also never really like had a major fail? At least not as far as I can remember. I do however, need to work on my social cues. I tend to blurt things out a lot (even after thinking) and not understand things people do/say to me.

Sloth: Something that I dislike about myself.

• Body image issues. Every time I like my body, I kind of switch over and then find something I dislike and then become so dissatisfied. Like there was a time that I was thin and I just really didn’t like how I had a totally flat chest. So I tried gaining some weight but then it was uneven. Then I trained harder in track and then got toned but then I didn’t like how muscled some parts of my body got (like seriously, I’ve softened a bit but my thighs are still muscled). I laid off training in track for a while and just focused on other things because I thought that my muscles would lessen if not used as regularly, but then I hated how soft I got. So I tried training again, but my body kind of bulked in places and then just stayed fat in other places, and I was just so frustrated. I’ve gained so much weight since so that maybe I could start over, but then I got pudgy and my clothes don’t fit right anymore, and now I’m just worried I’m gonna be extremely bulky and flat-chested at the same time. @_@

Envy: Something I wish I was better at.

• Well, if there’s anything I really wish I could be better at, it would be dancing. Not necessarily because of envy but because it’s just something I think I can improve on a lot more with the good foundation that I have. If it’s something I envy but not something that’s done: breasts. I’m not joking. I am severely insecure about my chest area. :|

Gluttony: One of my favorite foods.

• Oh my god. This is the sign of gluttony: I can’t pick just one. Where do I start - I like waffles. I can only eat one usually, but I love waffles. I also love cheese which totally sucks because I’m (on-off) lactose-intolerant. I loooove meat. Seriously. My vegetarian friend hates it but whatever. I love meat. I also love raw fish - mainly in the form of sushi or some roll. I would someday like to have a meal with all of the above (not necessarily together on one plate though). OMG WAIT. I love peaches and mangoes for fruits. I love carrots and lettuce (but not alone though D:). I love almonds and hazelnuts and macadamia nuts and actually almost all nuts. Who am I kidding I love food. :( I do however, dislike chocolate cake/icing/syrup(unless it’s shell)/ice cream - but love chocolate like just chocolate.

Wrath: Something that gets me angry.

• A lot of things set me off a bit, but ONE thing that has NEVER failed to fuel my anger is when people are rearranging my room. I HATE it when people think that I appreciate them cleaning or moving around my stuff. I’m not the most organised person but just because you do not get how I fix things does not give you a right to “fix” it yourself. I do organise my things and when people just don’t like it that way, then they should just deal with it - seriously, it’s my ROOM. It’s my sanctuary. No one else enters my room, so what’s the point of throwing out things you think I don’t need but might mean things to me or rearranging things the way you do because you’d like it that way instead of mine? My mom (who I think has a slight case of OCD) does this once in a while and I rage. There was one time she had help brought in to place my bed (I have a canopy bed so this is no easy task) on the other side of the room and the dressers and everything and I came home and saw it and RAGED. I locked myself up in my room and pushed/pulled/carried EVERYTHING back to the way it was. I even went outside and dug around the trash can to look for some stuff she threw out. I didn’t take a shower and slept on the floor because I was exhausted and frustrated and askdjalskjdla. I just really hate it when people don’t respect the only space I can really call my (solo) home.

Greed: Something I can’t get enough of.

• I’m not sure. Probably sleep? Not that I want a LOOOT of it, but I really need a break. I’ve been studying/working non-stop since Christmas and I just really want a lot of it. Money too, since I’ve been using it all on food and transportation and projects (even some that aren’t mine) and extra food when I’m forced to stay late or on Saturdays.

OH CRAP. That was reaaally long. Sorry! I didn’t mean to write you an essay! O_O

o_O

:))

good job

you make me feel violated. D: :))

i…don’t like anonymous hookups. or maybe just hookups in general. i do not get the last part of this message though. D:

a bunch of my followers know me personally D: damnit. are you male/female? like, biologically, so it’s easier for me to tell.

bitches. my line.

ARGH WHO ARE YOU